Resilience in Leadership: Lessons from Life’s Toughest Challenges

As an educator and now a coach, I’ve learned that leadership isn’t about having all the answers or avoiding challenges. It’s about the strength to keep moving forward, even when life gets tough. One of the most powerful lessons in resilience came during my father’s battle with cancer. Watching him face such an incredibly difficult journey while navigating my own responsibilities pushed me to my breaking point. But through it, I learned something profound: resilience isn’t just about bouncing back—it’s about growing stronger through adversity, even when the road ahead seems impossible.

When my father was diagnosed, I found myself emotionally drained. Balancing the weight of professional responsibilities while navigating the fear, uncertainty, and grief of watching someone I loved face a life-threatening illness was overwhelming. The emotional toll was heavy, but it wasn’t just the personal loss I was experiencing—it was also the challenge of maintaining a sense of purpose and stability in my professional life while my world seemed to be falling apart.

As a leader, I thought I had the tools to handle stress and difficult emotions. I believed I was prepared for whatever life threw my way. But nothing could have prepared me for the emotional weight of juggling the fear of losing my dad while still trying to meet work expectations. The pain was real. Yet, it was through these very struggles that I began to understand the true power of resilience.

I learned that resilience isn’t about simply bouncing back or pretending that everything is okay when it’s not. It’s about being able to adapt, to grow through adversity, and to keep moving forward, even when the journey feels overwhelming.

And then, in 2020, everything around me seemed to collapse. It was the height of the COVID pandemic. Schools shut down, routines shattered, and the world as we knew it changed overnight. As an educator, I watched my colleagues, students, and fellow leaders struggle under the weight of stress, loss, and exhaustion. We were all holding on by a thread, trying to manage the unmanageable.

Now, in 2025, the impact of the pandemic continues to linger. Studies still highlight the toll COVID has taken on mental health, especially among educators and leaders. A recent study from the National Education Association found that 55% of teachers reported higher levels of stress and burnout compared to pre-pandemic levels. It’s no wonder—the demands on educators grew during the pandemic, and the pressure to recover remains.

For many, the emotional burden has only compounded. The isolation, fear, and loss of control we felt during those early days of COVID have transformed into ongoing cycles of exhaustion and emotional fatigue. Educators, school leaders, and parents are finding it harder than ever to balance personal and professional responsibilities. Leadership roles in education have become even more challenging, as many are trying to rebuild what was broken while navigating the ripple effects of a disrupted world.

I had always been someone who kept pushing forward. No matter how tough things got, I put on a brave face, showed up, and did what needed to be done. But in the fall of 2020, everything caught up with me. Years of "being strong" came crashing down. I was exhausted, burned out, and questioning everything—my career, my purpose, even my identity.

For the first time in my life, I had to step away. From work. From responsibilities. Even from my family. I wasn’t just grieving my dad’s diagnosis—I was grieving myself. The version of me that had spent years holding it all together, sacrificing, and putting everyone else first. I didn’t recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror.

And if I’m being honest, I know many leaders have felt this too.

Because leadership—especially in education—is heavy. You carry the weight of every student, every decision, every expectation. You wake up every day giving your all, even when there’s nothing left to give. You put out fires, juggle impossible demands, and show up for everyone else, even when you’re barely holding on yourself. And some days, you wonder if it’s worth it. If you’re truly making a difference. If you have anything left in you to keep going.

That year, I had to completely rebuild myself. Not just as an educator, but as a person.

I spent months peeling back the layers, rediscovering who I was at my core. I dove deep into the science of behavior, but this time, not as a professional—as a human being who needed to heal. I studied the roadmaps of experts in personal development, but more importantly, I lived them. And through that process, I found something I never expected.

I found myself again.

I found a deeper purpose. A clarity I had never known before. I realized that for years, I had let the world dictate how I moved, how I felt, how I measured my worth. But no more. I decided that I get to define my life. That I don’t have to live in survival mode. That I don’t have to wait for the world to slow down to finally start living.

I made a choice.

To focus on what’s right instead of what’s wrong. To recognize that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. To stop waiting for permission to take care of myself.

And most of all, I made a choice to help others do the same.

Resilience Isn’t About Endurance—It’s About Renewal

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that resilience isn’t just about pushing through—it’s about becoming. It’s not about how much you can take; it’s about how much you’re willing to grow.

That’s the lesson I want to share with every leader who feels like they’re drowning.

Because I know what it’s like to feel exhausted, questioning whether you’re making an impact. I know what it’s like to pour everything into others and have nothing left for yourself. I know what it’s like to feel like you’re running on empty, secretly wondering how much longer you can keep this up.

But here’s the truth:

You don’t have to keep carrying the weight of the world alone.

Resilience isn’t about just bouncing back—it’s about building a life where you don’t have to keep recovering from. It’s about creating systems that allow you to lead without losing yourself in the process.

It’s about leading in a way that fuels you, not drains you.

It’s about showing up for your students, your staff, your family—but also for yourself.

What I Wish Every Leader Knew About Resilience

• You are allowed to take care of yourself.
  Rest isn’t selfish. Boundaries aren’t weakness. Burnout isn’t the price of success. You cannot lead effectively if you’re running on empty.

• The story you tell yourself matters.
  I used to believe I had to be strong all the time. That asking for help meant I wasn’t capable. But I realized that the strongest leaders are the ones who are willing to be human. Who are willing to rewrite the narratives that no longer serve them.

• You can lead with both heart and strategy.
  Leadership isn’t about sacrificing yourself for the cause. It’s about creating structures that allow you to thrive while serving others. Emotional well-being and organizational efficiency go hand in hand.

• Joy isn’t something you have to earn.
  You don’t have to wait until summer break, the next holiday, or "when things calm down" to feel happy again. Joy can exist now. In the little moments. In the way you choose to show up for yourself and others.

• You are making a difference.
  Even when it feels like no one sees it. Even when you’re tired. Even when the system feels broken. You are shaping lives. And that matters.

A Final Thought

As I reflect on the last five years, I think about my dad. He always lived with a sense of quiet strength—what the Finns call SISU. A deep inner resilience that pushes you forward, even when the road is uncertain.

That’s what I carry with me now. That’s what I teach. That’s what I want to share with you.

Because resilience isn’t just about surviving. It’s about thriving. And you deserve to thrive.

If you’re an educational leader feeling overwhelmed, I see you. I understand. And I want you to know—it doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t have to keep sacrificing yourself for the sake of others. There is a better way to lead, live, and love your work again.

And I’d love to help you find it.

Let’s connect. Let’s build resilience—together.