Change Your Thoughts. Change Your Life.
"Your life is a reflection of your thoughts. If you change your thinking, you can change your life." — Brian Tracy
Are You in Control of Your Thoughts?
And can choosing your thoughts change your money situation? I promise you, they can and I know this because I've spent over 20 years learning and practicing how to control thoughts to shape feelings, actions, and outcomes.
Here’s an outlandish idea, one that literally changed my life… here goes… Our thoughts are optional. I know, it sounds strange. We often believe that the voice in our head is telling us the truth, but that's not always the case!
You know those thoughts that jolt you awake at 3 am, screaming that your business is tanking, and you're only a hop away from ruin? They can morph into a big deal if you're not careful. I’ve let them take over too many times. They bring their friends, those gnarly feelings in your gut, or maybe for you, it's that weight on your chest making it hard to breathe.
Here's the thing, though—it all boils down to the fact that, consciously or not, our thoughts spark those feelings. When we ignore them, they just keep popping back up like unwanted house guests. That's where I found myself—resisting, pushing them away because, honestly, feeling like that? No, thanks. Unfortunately, the more I resisted, the worse it got. I tried everything—talking myself down, pretending it was all okay.
The Thief That Stole My Sleep - Thoughts
I had poured over two years into my dream—a family business—only to lose it, along with my home and hundreds of thousands of dollars. Night after night, like clockwork at 3 am, anxiety decided to move in for good.
With all my years as a tech leader and real estate investor, I’d faced many ups and downs—squatters, eviction nightmares—but this was a new level of setback with no clear path back up. Driven by sheer desperation, I dove headfirst into everything I knew about positive psychology, neuroscience, and resilience. I read endless books on bouncing back from failure and tackling anxiety head-on.
I had to get my sleep back. I had to confront that sneaky thief waking me at 3 am—my thoughts.
So, What Are Thoughts?
As humans, we give meaning to our circumstances through our thoughts—those sentences constantly running through our minds. We have over 60,000 thoughts a day! These can be conscious, like, "I suck with money," or "I'll never save enough for retirement." Often, we’re not even aware of these thoughts. While we can't always change our circumstances, like losing a job or a business, we can change our thoughts about them.
The main cause of problems is our thinking, not the situation. For instance, it’s not losing a job that's the issue, but thinking, "I’ll never find another job that good."
Our thoughts create our emotions and actions. If you think, "I’ll always be in debt," you might feel hopeless and not try to budget. Differentiating thoughts from circumstances is essential. Circumstances are facts, like "I have $20." Thoughts are opinions, like "That’s not enough money."
We control our emotional lives with our thinking.
And again, our thoughts are optional.
We largely create our lives with our minds. We often believe our stories so deeply that we think they’re facts when they’re not. This is fine—so long as the story isn’t painful or causing problems in our lives. But many of our stories are painful and can even be debilitating.
Obviously, my stories and thoughts at 3 am about being a failure and losing my business and money were painful and causing problems for me.
These “negative” thoughts felt very much like actual circumstances. But when I separate my thoughts and emotions, the facts are neither positive nor negative; they just are.
Did you know that 95% of their thinking is unconscious? When we first learn something, it creates a weak neural pathway. Over time, if we repeat it or add emotion to it, it becomes more ingrained.
As these negative thoughts replayed in my head, those neural pathways strengthened, making the thoughts more automatic. Like a snowball rolling down a hill, they grew effortlessly.
All problems are simply thoughts.
There is no problem if there are no thoughts. This doesn’t mean we don’t want things to be problems. We just need to recognize that we cause problems with our brain and we can solve them by changing our thinking.
This realization was life-changing for me. If this concept is new to you, you might find it odd or "woo woo," but there's neuroscience and research backing it up.
This Brings Us to Money Thoughts
Our thoughts about money can be like old programs in our brain from childhood. These ideas often come from what we learned from our parents, friends, or society.
Understanding these thoughts is crucial because they might be blocking us from making more money. If you think money is bad or that rich people are bad, you're not likely to attract more of it into your life.
Returning to the Questions: Are you in Control of Your Thoughts?
Yes, you can decide to be. And can choosing your thoughts change your money situation? Absolutely, and here’s how:
Recognize Your Beliefs: Reflect on what you learned about money growing up. Are those beliefs serving you now?
Become Conscious: As you assess your money situation, pay attention to your thoughts and judgments. Write them down as they appear.
Separate Facts from Thoughts: It’s inaccurate to say, “I was devastated when I lost my job.” Instead, acknowledge, “I was devastated by what I thought about losing my job.” These words matter. When we realize our minds cause our feelings, we can better control our emotional lives. This doesn't prevent sadness, but it helps us not become overwhelmed by less significant events.
Decide and Commit: Deliberate thoughts are choices. Choose new thoughts, then program them into your brain with repetition. Create new neural pathways and commit to mental rehearsal and belief in those new thoughts.
To wrap things up, I hope this article inspires you to take charge of your thoughts and realize you have the power to shape your financial future. Your mindset is a strong tool in creating the life you want.
To help you on this journey, we invite you to subscribe to our weekly email newsletter and check out our "Finding Strength in Setbacks" free resource guide. They offer tips and steps you can take to build a stronger money mindset.
Stay tuned for the upcoming Her Money Mindset Show, where we'll dive even deeper into these topics!
Legal Disclaimer: This content is not financial advice and is for informational purposes only. Always consult with a qualified financial professional before making any financial decisions.
