Better Parents,
Better Planet
Returning to My Authentic Self Through Parenting
The story of Dori
Introduction
A lot of parents find themselves enslaved to the routine and repetitiveness of family life. But in my case, even before parenthood, I found myself in a state of stagnation, staying within my comfort zone and avoiding intentional challenges. Subconsciously, I wanted everything to be as easy as possible, but this led to a lingering sense of unfulfillment. My first miscarriage exacerbated this feeling, pushing my suffering even deeper. The global pandemic made these buried emotions boil over.
The Explosion of Unresolved Issues
When I became a parent, it felt like all of my unresolved issues and unattended feelings exploded to the surface. The physical exhaustion, sleep deprivation, identity loss, and my son's moderate medical problems, which became exaggerated in my mind, tormented me. Paralyzing guilt and regret set in as my unmaterialized dreams of motherhood weighed heavy on me.
Seeking Calm and Finding Clarity
Desperate for a way out and determined not to let my misery affect my relationship with my baby, I realized I had to change something. I started with meditation to find calm amidst the unhappiness and overwhelm. Over time, regular practice brought me something more precious than calm—clarity about myself. I saw that a big part of my suffering as a parent was connected to my internal chaos, neglected feelings, hidden patterns of reactivity, limited beliefs, and old conditioning shaped by external expectations.
Reconnecting with Joy and Authenticity
For a long time, I had ignored my passions and activities that brought joy. The early months of motherhood, filled with physical and emotional struggles, shook me out of stagnation. I recognized the need to find my way back to my inner authenticity. With this newfound clarity, I began to piece my life together, learning some things and unlearning others. At some point, I even took up drawing classes and dancing classes that brought me closer to my forgotten passions. I focused on listening to myself and developing my intuition.
Commitment to Continual Growth
By the time I had my second child, I felt like a different person. Also, my postpartum parenting experience was positively different this time. I committed to continual growth in consciousness, skills, and humanity. I aimed to become a better, more conscious version of myself, raising my kids with this awareness. I vowed never to return to stagnation, despite the comfort and stability it offered. Staying in my comfort zone made me feel smaller and less alive, shrinking at every challenge, including typical parental struggles.
Growth as a Conscious Choice
So, I decided to start the growth process intentionally, with full awareness and involvement. I saw the areas for improvement, but there were also down-to-earth obstacles to overcome, such as a busy schedule and fatigue—more about that in a separate post right
here
. Growth, to me, was not about perfection or pushing myself obsessively, but about making conscious choices as I go. Improving myself with presence and grace, and including necessary moments of rest, regeneration, and stillness. These moments of being with myself provide the most clarity about my path.
Breaking Free from Old Attachments
My goal of taking my evolution into my own hands was also about breaking free from old attachments that subconsciously made me avoid challenges and opportunities for growth. I understood that life is growth. Avoiding growth is fundamentally avoiding life, leading to inertia, indifference, disconnection, and emptiness. Avoiding life can impact your daily interactions, especially with your children .
Embracing Life's Challenges
Life will always push you to grow, willingly or not. But if you're unwilling, those nudges will feel like torture and suffering, shaping your existence from a victim identity. If you're willing, you see challenges as lessons, shaping your existence from an apprentice identity. By taking your own initiatives and involving yourself in the growth process, you shape your existence from a creator identity. This approach has a way of turning the life force into your partner rather than opponent.
Turning Inward for Growth
No matter how low you feel, making the decision to turn inward and raise yourself first creates an internal shift, a return of primal power. Regular involvement in your growth, through self-discipline, consciously challenging yourself (with grace), and staying in connection with your inner world (using tools like meditation, self-reflection, journaling, mindfulness, and gratitude practice), empowers you and invites a certain flow into your experience.
Observing Changes
Your actions become smooth and you feel spontaneously excited, energized, and rewarded by the process. While difficulties still arise, they no longer feel like torture or bad luck but like stepping stones to higher levels of understanding or experiencing life. By moving consciously forward, you come back to yourself, to your truth.
The Privilege of Conscious Choice
Many cultures and religions speak of ultimate salvation as a result of a "conscious return." This conscious choice, this free will, is the privilege of being human. In my little realm, I strive to exercise this privilege moment by moment, with my ups and downs. There are many ways to evolve consciousness, but I find that parenthood is a truly beautiful opportunity to do that because your motivation is uniquely strong. After all, your kids are worth it.
Conclusion
If my story resonates with you, I encourage you to share your own journey. Let's create a community where we support and inspire each other to grow, for our own sake and for the sake of our children. What steps have you taken towards conscious growth, and how has it impacted your parenting journey?
Get in touch with your inner authenticity and see how much you can enjoy your experience of parenthood.
YOU’RE NOT ALONE. WE ARE HERE TO HELP!
Join our community of like-minded parents who share your values and are on the same journey. Exchange ideas, tips, and support to navigate the ups and downs of parenting together.
Are negative feelings, mind chatter, or social expectations overshadowing the joy of your role? From now on, you'll know exactly what to do with them! We've got your back!
Better, not perfect!
Embrace your journey of growth and progress. Don't fall into the trap of perfectionism.
Compare yourself to NO ONE. Only to the parent you were last week, last month, or last year.
There is no limit to growth; no matter how big or small, it always brings benefits!
Nurturing a conscious tomorrow, one Parent at a time.